the long ride home

prior to my fathers suicide he had retired and moved cross-country to california. upon his arrival, all he wanted was to go home to upstate ny. it was inexplicable to me at the time, but i feel i've come to somewhat of a better understanding. several months after his death i flew to california and bought the van he, my stepmother and their two dogs had used for their move. i drove it back across the country to new york before filling it with my possessions and making my own move to california. i shot this series from the window of the van along the easterly drive, trying to imagine the country as my father saw it - unfamiliar, unwelcoming, transient, dispirited and devoid of beauty. it begins in the hills where he died, and ends where he knew he was heading, though maybe not so soon. crosses dot the landscape, birds circle, things burn. all the while the inevitable draws closer.